I feel really tired but I'm just tired of being broke!
I don't really shop and I don't even know where did all my money go.
Is there some bermuda triangle in my bank account...
oh well, yes to earn money of course I have to sacrifice my time to spend with my friends and buddies.
I do feel guilty and bad when things clash and all. Well..
the chances of being nagged of being a free loader and wait for money to drop from the sky are super high.
But I totally love the life of staying at home when there's no work or any dates.
like i've mentioned for like 1384939041832908123 times I really don't get those people who can't stay at home. What's wrong with your home is there like a monster chasing you out of your house..
and now that I've no commitments like...yeahhhhhh....
HAHAHAHAH.
Its a life lesson to me like people who are close to me should have noticed this change in me.
I'm really really REALLY not turning negative after the break up.
I'm always realistic. Being realistic isn't being negative.
I don't cut myself.
I just accept how things are
It was the first time a relationship of mine lasted for so long
and most probably the very last relationship before I just go and get married already lol
but now that I have no intentions of getting into a relationship ever again.
During these few months, I kept a lot in me.
I couldn't find someone to spill and get things off me.
I still live my life like how I would everyday, but every night I can't help but to indulge myself in my own thoughts.
Never a day I slept without thinking about my life
I asked myself every night, "What do you think you're doing right now?"
and I can't answer. I just kept it to myself thinking that things will get better.
I didn't want to bother my friends over my own problems.
I'm someone who can't commit to anybody unless you're like my super best buddy.
I need some time alone off myself at home and definitely my friends and besties are so important that they take up most of my time.
I'm literally,
a girl who doesn't know how to be loved
and so when Des sent me this link telling me that he's reminded of me when he read it.
Yeah, I totally fall into this category that I didn't know of - Miss Independent.
Simply, I'm never the girlfriend material.
Why do I even want to get into a relationship knowing that I'm someone who can't commit
I thought it will be different this time but oh well
things happened and I went back to square one.
So I've decided that I shouldn't drag anymore and yeapppppppp :/
I'm doing fine with my friends and of course I certainly have no idea and dread school
I am totally not prepared to face the reality that we'll probably see each other around in school.
Still friends or not? I'm not so sure anymore.
maybe things will get better over time but still the start is just..meh.
Have no idea what to do and there's nothing that I can do either not as tho I can drop out at my third year.
Everything just happened, like this.
So as I indulge myself further into my kingdom, I'm escaping.
Its probably a better thing for me to do.
I still feel the love I still have the feelings and well.. they can never hurt me like literally.
Unless Yunho decides to announce that he's attached or whatever nonsense it is.
so friends, just don't stop me from chasing them. I can't even imagine what can I do in life if I don't ever distract myself with my idols. No yunho, no dbsk no kpop, what am I supposed to do? Then I'll literally become a girl with no dreams no motivations no life.
People doesn't understand why would I go so crazy for my fandom and idols. Oh well it's my life anyway so just MYOB I don't need your comments like not as if I will stop all these even if you were to insult them in my face, and most probably i'll end up cursing you deep down in my heart.
and yes I do have friends that do that. They just don't get it.
You might think it's exaggerating but yeah when they say it I feel really angry.
I'll never fail to get angry over offensive remarks.
and most of them are guys so guys again.
I can never trust anymore.
and so that's it for my rs life..
就这样。
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