lost

And so I've officially graduated from my office life.

I've always thought that I will be studying U right after getting my diploma and with this vision I've been selling my soul to my poly results. I can admit that my poly life is rather lifeless and tensed up because I'm very worried for my results. I know that I want to go to university so, given that I was in Nanyang, I have to work harder for me to be on par with the students from other schools.
I know where we stand.

But oh well, have I ever said that plans are meant to be failed so that we can learn?
Yes and true enough, I got rejected by all the applications.
I wouldn't say my results are superb but I would say its alright?
Partly its because I didn't apply for those universities and courses that I knew I most probably be able to enter with my results, but I remember I didn't want to get in to the courses that I'm not interested in. And so I only applied for Hospitality and........Sociology. Maybe I still don't know where exactly do I stand in this world after all? HAHAHA.

I know I will be fine even if I didn't get into any courses. It doesn't really bother me, after being done with poly. I guess i'm burnt from all those poly days. Never studied so hard in my life before. But no regrets! I am lost, I don't know what do I want to do, so I have no idea what course to choose for uni. But, I do know if I'm made to study things that I don't like, I'm most probably going to screw things up again, just like how I did in secondary school, primary school too in fact. The only subject I could handle was Chinese HAHAHA. Although recently I had the urge to like buy ten year series for emath and do it again, which most probably I won't remember how to do it anyway.

Get me out of interviews. I'm officially traumatized by all the horrible interviews I've done in my life. Not like I've never done public speaking before, but I guess I get ultimately freaked out when I have all attention on me? So much of drama club back then hahahaha.
Honestly, quite often I'll be "Can't my life just end here" because I'm so stressed up from those "so what are your plans?" "what are you going to do in the future" .
It's no longer a 'what i want to do' but more of 'what can i do'.
I know I want to do things that I can do well in.
but what can I do well in. Clueless.


being lost and seems like nothing is helping.
Till then.