I don't even recall my last post but most prolly it was about the start of internship but here I am, coming close to the end of my 6 months internship.
Really, this internship taught me something about myself..
I'm an ultimate big cry baby getting easily attached to most of the ultimate nice people.
Fortunately I'm together with two close friends that makes me less sadder when we leave.
Internship is really really fun here.
No keedz!
Enjoying every moment I spend with the duty managers and also not to miss out, the interns.
But of course, internship only rocks because of these people.
Farewells are always the hardest, and even harder for me.
I guess I really hate being left behind, no matter what.
After my supervisor went back to the headquarters, I felt kinda lost and actually annoyed by some of the happenings but well that's not going pull me down.
Now that we're all at this period where we could start counting down to the number of days left together, it really breaks my heart a little every single day.
It's gonna be weird but, I really wanna stop time a little. I know how hard it is to be meeting every one of them outside, cause we all have different lives and commitments and that definitely makes things harder.
What crashed me the hardest was that my partner got injured and well that really brought me down a lot. We are really superb close and like best buddies in almost everything, and he's gonna be the last person I wanna lose after the internship so I really dreaded the end of the internshipp.
That was like the very first time in my life, I stared so hard at my computer screen not knowing what to do. Seems like I'm always panicky and lost whenever people are telling me what happened to them. So that night I just received the freakiest photo from him on a hospital bed and all and I swear, I really know how it feels to be like the you-wanna-cry-but-nothing-is-coming-out.
It was like, a few hours ago we were happily chit chatting as usual on the long journey back home and nothing ever changes.
I couldn't stand the thoughts of someone who likes soccer so much and not being able to play it anymore? Like that's so cruel, its equivalent of telling me I can no longer see and then not to mention to watch Yunho from the screen. There's no purpose in life anymore.
The worst feeling ever, is to see these bffs giving up on themselves because of their health conditions. They'll most probably never ever know, how it feels to be watching your loved ones giving up on themselves and you're so worried and panicky but there's nothing you can do but to watch them by the side.. not once but so many times I really thought like why can't I be the one taking the pains for them cause it really sucked to be watching it and not able to help. Never been through that much of despair before and I guess I still can't understand but I'll never stop trying to be there for them.
Just when I finally could go and visit him with his broken leg, my mummy just got so sick that I had to turn back home and bring her to the hospital. It really sucks, to be bringing your mother to the hospital. I felt as tho, I've been forced to grow up in these few days. You just sit by her at the A&E, and then watching her vomiting getting teary, oh no, my heart manz.
Everyone is just worrying the hell out of me these few days and no keedz, I really felt tired of worrying and worrying and worrying and I'm still safe and sound.
But of course, I'm thankful for those buddies who were worried for me, and truthfully, when I was on the taxi to the hospital with my mummy, I was telling myself that I must stay calm cause I'm the only one who can help mummy now, don't you panic. I really could feel how uncomfortable she was and, even when she was so uncomfortable, she didn't forget about me.
While I was packing all the necessary stuff for her into my bag, I saw her grabbing onto my jacket and I asked her if she needed it, and she said "No, I don't need it. I scared you may need it later"
yes, she remembered that I'm get cold easily.
I guess that's all about the mother love no matter what circumstances.
I didn't get to eat the whole day and I just felt like "is this going to be over soon"
and finally finally when I get on my way home, le partner just had to tell me that he almost fainted at home. At the moment I really just kept shivering and shivering and just gave up right on daddy's car like I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.
I really just can't accept all these happening to my loved ones and then I can't do anything. Like a useless fellow on the loose someone should just nab me and kill me for being such a useless bum.
Just like how bff texted me out of nowehere one fine day telling me that she may be blind all thanks to google and such, and at that moment I was right in a meeting with all the big bosses talking. I just couldn't but start to tear and tear tearing because 7 years of flashbacks came right into my mind. 7 freaking years, and we are super close like sisters so how do you actually expect me to be fine? But thankfully, great buddies were around hugging me everything will be fine, and telling me google may not be always right.
I really do hope that everything is coming to an end, those misery, those pains.
Everyone must be good.
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