Blessed Child

Oh and that's a Happy 2k17 for all of you guys!

Haven't been really back here for ages with so many changes in life. People have been moving on to other sites that are more private than blogs but me being me, I know I don't have the heart to keep so many things updated at a time (this place is a good proof). From a teen, till a young adult much things have changed about me and I guess last time I kept a blog for people to read up about things that I don't feel comfortable sharing upfront and if you cared you would be digging up blog posts to read and that's how I would like you to know about it without having me to say it. After these years..I guess the only reason why I'm still here is definitely because I know after a few years, an older me would be reading this post and I'll go "those were the days and thoughts when I was young". Works more like a time capsule for me? Heh. 

So in 2016, Jo has failed her university admission interview and went on to work for about a year when she realised the fantasy bubble that she was in. Fortunately, 皇天不负有心人, efforts paid off and I still got admitted in Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) and into the course that I've wanted, Hospitality Business! Of course, within that one year I was really lost. Not so sure if I really wanted to continue pursue in this field (after my diploma in Hospitality as well) cause as we all know, its a field that everyone could do even if you don't have related knowledge prior. Definitely, I have considered staying status quo, to continue working and at least every month I have income. As a student, I'll only have lots of expenditures and that's really contrasting. Considering the fact that I have a commendable poly results, I did have a lot of choices on my hand. I could continue working, or further my studies in this course of my interest or I could change a path and try something else. 

Adults always advised me to do something that I'll like, which is like of course, why would I wanna do something that I don't? But, is this hospitality industry really something that I like, or its just something familiar and easy for me to do well academically (at least in poly). So many things went through and of course since young, as a Singaporean every parent would like to see their child getting into established universities like NTU. Having a sister who graduated from there and I watched her vibrant campus life with hall activities, it was kinda captivating and I was curious about life like that. Well. I could also enrol into a course that I could qualify in the university. And, in fact yes I did accepted into Chinese Studies but knowing myself well enough, I don't even deal w anything associated with history and whichever dynasty. I could call myself a bimbo when being asked about the world's history (I'm only interested in WW2). But anyway at the end I still ended up in Hospitality cause I figured out, I should be interested in that.  

Two months into 2k17, and lots happened. 

Like for the first in 22 years of my life, I got hospitalised. And it was quite bad. Almost gotten myself into the ICU unit but thankfully, I'm a blessed child. 

Got Pneumonia after weeks of being a heroine walking in the rain like the rain didn't bother me anyway and before I realised it, I'm down. People who knows me for years would know Chingay is already an annual affair for me. And this illness just have to strike me during the week in Feb that I was sooooo looking forward to with all the field trips in school, and of course the actual parades. Of course I know I shouldn't even step near the event site since there's going to be lots of crowd and the environment is not good for this broken pair of lungs of mine especially when there is still some fluid in there. During my 8 days of stay in the hospital, it hurts so much to see my mummy rushing down to the hospital after her work and of course my boyfr who has to keep worrying and I know, life is tiring enough already. Mummy has so much to take care of and her youngest just have to crumble for the first time in her life, and to make things worst, I can't swallow pills. And that means that, I literally threw up every pill that I've attempted to swallow, which is equivalent to not eating any medication. I was really feeling fine, and is energetic but according to the doctors, my insides were in a really bad condition. Since young, fever did not really bother me as I hardly feel the toll of the fever unless the temperature is really high. So for this time, my last straw before I admitted myself into the hospital was a temperature of 39.9. And throughout the first few days, my temperature kept hovering around 39 and high 38 but I felt really fine and was ready to go home actually. 

So their everyday was basically work-hospital-home and I have already missed school for about two weeks now. Looking at the positive side, hmmm since I'm still in my first year and thanks to my credit exemptions I don't have a tight school schedule. Just gotta catch up with those that I have missed out and the tests that I have missed (if there's any way to retake or something). 

It wasn't until times like this I've learnt how important it is to take care of my health unless I'm really okay with things going off as how I've planned it to be. Field trip that I have missed out, I've gotta do it on my own, and not to mention to be lesser a burden to my group mates with the lessons I've missed out and a set of weak lungs. I just gotta pray so hard that my lungs won't fail me when I'm doing my assignment out there. I'm never returning back to the ward's bed and the oxygen tube that reek of rubber smell although that really saved my life. On a side note: Girls, please think twice before doing gelish nails unless you're very sure that you're going to be so healthy until it wears off (I was absolutely certain of my health too) cause with gelish nails, they can't detect oxygen level from your nails (HAHAHAHA) and from there, I'm really amazed with the alternatives they sought to in order to detect the oxygen level in my lungs (which of course was low since my lungs were infected w Influenza virus). 

This should be my seventh year doing Chingay, and yes today is actual parades and my boyfr and all my friends are all at Chingay but I'm just going to be at home. Is this my lesson learnt for not bringing umbrella out during rainy days? Boyfr asked, why must I always be with my chingay gang. 

I asked myself. Did I? Probably. My bffs and most of my close friends are formed in Chingay. Was it just coincidence? Seven years, definitely not something short. I would say it was really difficult to hang on despite all the changes over the years and having to accept new comers in the team and dealing w the good old memories with the older group of friends who I have held dearly to. Yes, its hard for me to just let go of Chingay even though its just for that 3 more operations. I fear missing out. It just sucks to think that that streak has been broken, by yourself, by my broken lungs. On top of that, its much more than that. Knowing that manpower is a very very very big issue in volunteering today, the fact that an exco member is missing and in the first place our team is very small to start with. With me dropping out, its only BFF and Chenyan who is also new to the team. Nonetheless, I have lots of faith in bff that everything is just going to turn out fine. All I have to do, is to take care of my health first and I'll be back next year. If all turns out well. 

So many more things that was going through me these few things cause I've been missing out but oh well. Life is such. 

Still a big thank you to my boyfr my mummy and my friends who have been worrying about me. 

I have learnt my lesson and will start taking care of myself now. 

Now that my mummy is starting to take after my symptoms and when I was really sick, the boyfr was sick as well and it really caught me. I would rather be the one suffering than to see all of them falling sick cause of me. That feeling really suck when you're already burdening them and they had to fall ill on top of their daily lives already. I just can't deal. 

That's all.