I'm not like the past anymore.

If i am living in the past,
most probably i will be looking forward.
the problem is,
now i dread of that day coming now.
no tv
no freedom
what i eat what i do
is what you want to eat and what you want to do.
in conclusion,
your existence, i have no life of mine!
is not that i dont want you to exist.
you dont use to care about me,
and you admitted it yourself.
you got me to study,study and more study.
you think im so dumb and i dont know the reason why?
ISNT IT ALL BECAUSE JOEY DOESNT WANT TO GO TO JC
YOU DONT WANT TO COLD WAR WITH HER ANYMORE,
YOU STOP ADDING PRESSURE ON HER .
AND NOW I'M THE FOLLOWING ONE ,
YOU WANT ME TO GO TO JC AND FOLLOW JOLENE'S FOOTSTEPS.
WHY CANT YOU LET ME HAVE MY OWN LIFE?
I'LL TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY OWN LIFE.
I DONT NEED YOU TO INTERFERE IN IT !
I HAVE NO APPETITE YOU CALL ME EAT EAT EAT.
YOU WANT ME VOMIT ON YOU
WILL YOU ONLY THEN REALISE THAT I CANT EAT THAT MUCH?
YOU WILL NEVER KNOW ME.

Day4: My Siblings
Jolene & Joey.
I dont know what to say about you two.
the only thing i can say is that you two affects me alot at home
when you all treat me good, i can help you two do anything ( other than washing stuffs)
but if you want me to help you in something, im fine with it.
but the way you ask me isnt what you are supposed to use.
so how am i going to help you ?
reflect upon how you treat me k!
I really do hope that we can be like the other families.
They say that sisters will always have good relationships
whereby they h2h talk to each other,
sharing secrets.
but i dont know why we are just like strangers at home.
i really want to have those sisters.
I'M WAITING FOR YOU TO BREAK OPEN THE FENCE AROUND YOUR HEART TO ME.